We had our 6 month post placement visit yesterday. It went well. I think we "passed" if there is such a thing. We met our new social worker due to the move and it went well. We all just sat around and casually chatted about how things are going. We communicated. It was good. Communication is good. It has been vital to our success in blending our family.
Let me begin by communicating something. I use this blog to record memories of our amazing journey in this adoption. I use it as a way to advocate for other orphans, especially those over 10, that need loving families. I hope through our journey, others can see this is a doable thing. I also use this blog as a form of therapy for myself. It helps to be able to "share" the load, and simply typing for me is sharing. In doing this, I have discovered a few things I feel the need to mention. This blog has been therapy for me because it's helps me see the positives in our lives when all I'm feeling are the responsibilities. When I sit down to write about our life, I'm surely not looking to tell you about our tough moments. Instead, I look to share our "highlights". Sometimes I have to search for the "highlights" because we've been dealing with some real life issues. Most issues I choose not to share. Some things like temper tantrums, disagreements, disappointments, you get the idea. They're not the things we like to share with the world. Instead we look for the "Ahah" moments. The feel good type things. And those are what I choose to tell you about. In doing so, I realize it can seem like we are a family that has it all together. We may have it all together for that moment, or hour, or day, but there are many moments when we are "practicing", aka living our lives. Many days we "practice" more than we "perform" but it is what life is all about. It is how we learn, how we grow.
So why, you may ask, am I sharing this?? The answer is to spare someone, maybe another mom, the idea that our lives are wonderful, or better, or something they are not. Sometimes I read a blog and feel so inadequate as a mom. I see pictures and my mind goes crazy thinking crazy things like, how does that mom do all that when today I never managed to change the sheets like I had planned. Or something like, look at that family, they adopted 18 children, all with special needs, and mine are all healthy.... and I fall short of the "bar"(the unrealistic standard I set for myself). The terrible standard of comparing ourselves to other without all the facts. The idea of second guessing the life God has called our family too and asking why we couldn't have the other. I do it, my children do it, we all do it... and it's counter productive. I hope and try to not give this "wonderful family that has it all together" complex to others.
So, after the social worker left, Randy and I had planned for a family meeting. It's a time when we get together and game plan as a family. It's a time to put things out on the table. A time to talk... to communicate. Sometimes it's just a time to goof off and nothing really gets accomplished. The new kids seemed to enjoy the idea. At one point, Brad attempted to get up and was quickly told by Yesalemsuh to sit back down, the family meeting wasn't over. She was enjoying her opportunity to participate in a family meeting. Brad has been in his share and takes them for granted. It was touching to see how valued she felt to be included in the meeting.
We communicated. It was good. We discussed some ideas where we don't see eye to eye. Everyone had input. We all got to see things from a different perspective. We affirmed each other. It was good.
The girls and I are off to Atlanta for a wedding. Kristin is standing up in her friends wedding. The girls are excited to get to see a wedding. Aschalew has chosen to stay home with the boys. Can you blame him? Brad explained that we will drive 3 hours to see girls get all dressed up and watch a mushy ceremony. He heard enough to cast his vote. It's fine by us. The girls are leaving school early and we'll find a mall, eat out (which costs far less without the boys), spend the night at a hotel, and go watch the girls that are all dressed up say mushy vows and love every minute of it :)
